Doing the Dad Thing!

The other day I was at the library with Ethan. He wanted to pick up some books that he had reserved, so we treked on over and he tried to scan them on the computer.

Much to his dismay, his account had too large of a fine for him to be able to get these precious books that he had been waiting for.

Obviously distraught, he came over to me, so I could resolve it for him.

I didn't have any money anyway, so my solution was to give him some unwanted advice. namely, he could put the books back and we could leave without them, or he could go see if he could work something out with the librarian.

He was more upset that this was the only solution I had for him. I was supposed to fix it for him. I repeated his choices and I told him I would be waiting in the car. so you don't think I am totally abusive, leaving my kid alone in a public library, he is ten years old and old enough to cause a ruckus if anyone tries to grab him.

After enough time elapsed that I thought maybe he had been spirited away, or was being held for truancy, or had just collapsed sobbing in the corner, he came out with a big grin. He had been able to work something out with the librarian and he was able to get his long awaited books.

It can be difficult to leave your kid to fix things on their own. We are, after all, the parents, and we want them to succeed, even if that means we are the ones who made it happen.

But, sooner or later our kids need to learn that one day the cavalry isn't gonna come to save the day. They will have to work things out on their own. And the sooner they learn to make this happen, the more confidence and capability they will have.

So, as unhelpful as I felt, I think I was doing the Dad thing and helping him grow. I think.