In a recent read of Malcolm Gladwell's book "Outliers", I discovered that, typically, you have to do something for about 10,000 hours before you can be considered, or actually be, an expert.
Think about how that transfers to the things you want to be good at: playing the piano, public speaking, a job skill, or even being good at your marriage.
About marriage, it about 416 and 2/3's days to add up to 10,000 hours. So, after about 14 months of marriage, you should be an expert, right? If Gladwell's ideas are as true as he believes, after your first year or so of marriage, all your problems should disappear.
Unfortunately, we don't get to spend all those hours together to make us experts. And, when we are together, we are not always practicing good marriage practices. So, I think it takes more like 25 years of an exceptional marriage (which I would define as one where the marriages take time to try and work at it) to become an expert at being married.
I am coming up on 18 years, so I am on my way.
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