You're gonna be left behind!!

Ok, so I grew up in a pretty conservative Church(es?) where, from time to time, it was all the rave to be speculating about end time events and the "rapture".

For those of you that may not know, the rapture is a time in history when God will bring all the Christians up to heaven and others will be Left Behind for seven years of "tribulation". This means seven years of death and misery and suffering and being led by the antichrist (who currently leads the MVD), before being sent to hell, or, hopefully, repenting and getting to go to heaven in the second wave.

While there is no actual mention of the rapture in the Bible, it is commonly known that this is how it will go down. Numerous authors have written this and Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins even put it into the wildly popular and poorly written Left Behind series. They even wrote a song about it, I wish we'd all been ready. DC Talk even did a remake of this. We had a version of it on a Pat Boone album.

Life was filled with guns and war
And everyone got trampled on the floor.
I wish we'd all been ready.
Children died, the days grew cold,
A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold.
I wish we'd all been ready.
There's no time to change your mind,
The Son has come and you've been left behind.

Growing up like this led someone to wonder most all the time if they were going to be left behind. Lose track of your mom and brother at the supermarket and you wonder, "Have I been left behind?". Come home from school when everyone is supposed to be there and find the house empty and wonder, "Will I see the antichrist on tv today?".

Well, now you can stop worrying about your friends being left behind. i found this info out from our friends at Emergent Nazarenes. For $40 a year, you can have these guys send your left behind friends an email letting them know, one last time, that they have been left behind, but they still have a chance. This is, of course, assuming they don't get destroyed with 1/3 of the earth by wormwood, tricked into receiving the mark of the beast or tormented by hideous insects...all of which is mentioned in the Bible, I think.

Here is what they do, from their website:

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.

We give you another 100mb. of unencrypted storage that can be sent to up to 50 email addresses, in Box #2. You can edit the documents and the addresses any time. Box #2 is for more generic documents to lost family & friends.

The cost is $40 for the first year. Re-subscription will be reduced as the number of subscribers increases. Tell your friends about You've Been left behind.

Or, you can just do what my friend Dale does at work. whenever someone does something wrong, remind them that they are going to be left behind.